Tuesday, September 18, 2012

18 months

Today Isaiah turns 18 months!  At the end of the week he'll have been with us 5 months.  I so wish that I could post pictures and vidoes of his cute little face, his gibberish talk, or his sneaky times of climbing on the table and sipping my latte (no joke)!  However, I don't wish these things so that you could see him (as much as that is true)...I wish that because of what it would mean.

It would mean that Isaiah would be a permanent part of our family.

It would mean that, according to the state of California and the United States, Isaiah would be our legal child.

It would mean that I wouldn't have to worry anymore if a blood relative is going to "pop up" and want placement and permanent custody of him.

It would mean that I could hear the phone ring and not have my heart jump out of my chest, wondering if it is the social worker calling with bad news.

It would mean I wouldn't have to constantly check in with the social worker to take him to see relatives, or drive the girls to a swim meet, or go camping outside of Fresno county.

It would mean that I wouldn't have to console my oldest daughter's fears that "they might take him away" because he fell, bumped his head and had to go to ER.

It would mean that I wouldn't have to hear my son regularly say, "I really hope we get to keep him, Mom."

It would mean that I can call him my son.

What a journey of faith we are on, this thing called fost-adopt!  As much as I want to prepare myself for the worst, I can't help but be thankful that Isaiah is in our home, right now, and give my love openly, and fully, and unreservedly to him as if this week was my last week with him.  I do love this child!  And I know, without a doubt, that he was meant to be in our home, whether for these few months or for "forever".  Thank you to those of you that have continued to pray for our family...for faith, for patience, for a quietness and calmness in our souls...as we wait on God and love Isaiah as he grows!

Happy 18 months Isaiah!

5 comments:

Allison said...

True love! Loving you from Texas!!!

Sarah said...

When ever you talk about this sweet little boy I always get tears in my eyes. I can just feel how much you love him. I have had many friends go through the adoption process and hearing your fears is like listening to them. I pray that your sweet boy will get to have you as his mom always. He deserves you as much as you deserve him.

Anonymous said...

Thankful for the time you've gotten this far with him, Jamie!! Will continue to pray for all of you!!!
Marcy

kc said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your heart with us. We love seeing Isaiah in your family, and will continue to pray for you all on this journey.

Little Spouse in the Old House said...

Unconditional love! That's the hardest! Love, Mom