Time to "proof"

Last weekend Randy and I went to a friend's house for a birthday party. Our friend Jaime loves to paint and had the idea to celebrate by everyone bringing their own personal artwork and sharing them with each other, a sort of group art exhibit. Last year's party was so much fun he decided to do it again! Friends came bringing drawings, paintings, photographs and more! Randy, being the avid photographer that he is, immediately chose a few recent photographs to bring. I was a bit stumped. I love to quilt, but haven't finished anything recently. I love to crochet, but have given all my handiwork away as gifts. Am I an artist? What do I love to mold and make? Hmmm...I had to give it some thought. Maybe I should go bake some cinnamon bread to help spur my creativity.

After a few days, I was still unsure what I would bring as my "piece of artwork". But my trivial thoughts about an upcoming party were trumped by a friend that needed my attention. Our neighbors across the street lost their son on Valentine's Day when they went into premature labor at 24 weeks and the doctors were unable to stop the baby from coming. Their little one lived a bit over an hour before he passed away. Although we have known them only 2 years, we are trying our hardest to make ourselves available to them in any way possible. Two weeks ago, when the dad went back to work, I offered to the mom if I could come have coffee and she said she would love that. The hours flew by as we sat, cried, drank our coffee, and talked about the happenings of the past few weeks. When I left she asked if we could do this again. She said they had enjoyed the oatmeal hearth bread I had brought over with a meal the previous week and that she didn't know how to bake a thing, could I teach her something? So this particular morning I was making Danish dough (a layered dough, similar to croissant) that would then rest in the fridge over night so we could make schnecken together in the morning (a German sticky bun).

So a few more days passed by, and I still had no idea what I was going to bring! But that day I didn't have time to think about it because I was preparing for Bible study the next morning and I said I would bring something to eat. Good thing I'd made an extra large batch of cinnamon rolls a couple weeks ago and I still had a pan in my deep freeze! I'd leave them out to rise over night so I could bake them in the morning and we'd have fresh, warm cinnamon rolls together!

So what did I eventually choose to bring as my artwork? This is my Pain d'Epi, or wheat stalk bread. Just tear off a "kernel" and you have a single serving of warm, homemade bread, no slicing needed!

The irony of the situation did not elude me (thus, the post). While trying so hard to think of what artwork I WOULD bring, I was overlooking the artwork I put on my table every week, if not every day!

In the past few months, as I have buried my hands in bread dough and strengthened my arms with kneading, my mind has wandered to our adoption process. God planted this thought of adoption in our brains so many years ago, not unlike yeast in bread, and it has taken time to bubble and activate our hearts to the point of attending that first orientation meeting in August of 2010. The flurry of activity that followed in the coming months (classes at Fresno City, home inspections, fingerprinting, background checks, paperwork to fill out) was all very informative and definitely prepared us for our coming child. And so, all the ingredients of our bread came to be mixed together. But then it had to sit and rise. We waited and waited to get a home study done. Six months we waited, the whole time not planning a vacation or being able to answer our kids' questions of "when".

Hooray! We had an adoptions worker assigned to us for a home study...finally! In late August we were able to have our final interviews and present our family book to complete our home study. On September 1st the Adoptions Supervisor for Fresno County signed off on our family. We were "ready" for placement! But apparently that was just the process of getting knocked back (as we say in bread baking lingo...a quick kneading and/or shaping before a second rise). So now, more waiting. In the bakery it's called proofing. A time for the bread to rise and develop its full flavor.

As most of you know, we had a possible placement in late October that didn't pan out, and the hassle or renewing our Foster Care license with Social Services last month (even though we have never had a child other than our own in our home between now and last February). And now, more waiting.

As my love of baking mixes with my love of reading, I checked out Peter Reinhart's book, Crust and Crumb, from the library last week. His comments on challah bread include the following, "When made properly, [challah] is a stunningly appealing loaf, plump and shiny, its braided strands symbolizing the interweaving of heaven and earth, God and mankind. Whether or not we read deeply into the symbolism of challah, we face the same challenge as with all breads: how to make an excellent loaf.
Challah is not a difficult or complex bread to make, but it does take patience and sensitivity to know when it is ready to bake. Most people rush their challah into the oven too soon and miss out on the dramatic visual effect it can have when it plumps to its fullest size."

As we continue to wait for this adoption process to come to fruition, I will continue to trust in God's timing! I am constantly amazed at the small, daily opportunities I have to serve Him that would not be possible if I had a small infant in my home right now. I pray that I will continue to be aware of all the ways I can be His hands and feet while I wait. He, our Head Baker, is patient and sensitive with us, and will know when we have "proofed" enough and are ready to go into the fire of adoptive placement and come out beautiful, plumped to our fullest size (although that could be a different metaphor with all this bread consumption, ha ha), our family "baked" to perfection with a new child, part of our family through God's amazing plan of adoption!

Thank you to all of our friends and family that have continued to pray with us during this entire process!

I think my next piece of artwork should be that challah bread! What do you think?